#6 things I wish I knew before 2020.

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I pray that before the 7th of April 2020, the world will be back to normal and that this Corona virus will be on its way into the past. Notwithstanding, it is such a pity that some families might not really be able to go back to normal after all this, due to the saddening loss of their loved ones.

May the Lord surely strength such, and heal the wounds and the hurt, which only He can do.

Since I'm going to be turning another year older on the Tuesday of  7th April 2020, and no doubt becoming a "more serious adult", I'd love to share six things that I wish I had learnt earlier.

1. Life doesn't happen, you make it happen.

Most times I used to respond to circumstances, I would plan depending on what I think might happen. If it didn't happen, then I'd simply give up; or if something else interrupted the plan, then I'd run after the new thing. Right now i realize that it is always better to act than to react to circumstances.

Just like in most circumstances you wouldn't tell your boss, "I didn't come to work because it rained.", but you simply make it to work, whether it shines or rains, that is the same way we need to make life happen as opposed to just allowing life to happen to us.

Most times when we let circumstances run our lives, we tend to become unserious and always find ourselves having excuses for our own failures. Of course there are cases that are excusable, where life just overwhelms us.

When you send in your apology for not making it to work because it rained, yet 98% of your workmates made it there (wet or dry, early or late), you indeed sound unserious. That's the same with life; successful people too do get challenges, unexpected circumstances, rainy days, broke days, and yet they courageously choose to accomplish their plans either way.

2. Sometimes people don't do things because they like doing them, they do things because they are necessary_ they need to be done.

As a teenager, I remember struggling a lot to do what I wanted as opposed to what I was supposed to do. I so often said out loud what I did/didn't want to do, it felt very unfair that we always had to go for morning preps so early, eat actual food instead of snacks, live on the school timetable as though we were robots, and stuff like that.

Now I know that most people who do the uncomfortable things like waking up early, eating healthy, exercising, self-sacrifice and self discipline might not necessarily want to do them most of the time; they do such things because it is necessary. Actually, a number of researchers and authors have stated that:

"doing what others don't like doing is what makes successful people successful, even when they themselves do not like doing it."

Needless to say, we definitely need to do what is fun and enjoyable to us, at least 30 minutes or more everyday, lest we end up stressed and frustrated with life. But doing what is necessary is what keeps society running in harmony, it is where we derive self control, mastery of oneself; it is maturity.

3. I can control my thoughts.

As the old adage goes: 

"Our thoughts become our actions, our actions become our habits, our habits become our character and our character becomes who we are."

Thoughts are that important, they eventually make up who you are. I too knew that so well, but the challenge was that thoughts just came to my mind sometimes and there was nothing I could do about it. They are like the wind, blowing where it wants to, when it wants and how it wants. At least I believed so, which eventually turned out not to be true.

I could not believe my ears the first time someone mentioned that I could actually control my thoughts. 

They explained that what we watch, what we listen to, our past experiences and environment, the thoughts we allow to expound on surely contribute a lot to the thoughts we find ourselves harboring.

That when we find ourselves thinking about things we don't want to, we have the ability to cut those thoughts short, to rebuke them and encourage our minds not to think those thoughts again. Better still, to replace undesirable thoughts with those we do desire.

Philippians 4:8 
"Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."

4. I am not so different.

Having a coarse voice, enjoying things that most girls my age didn't enjoy, having a slightly different perception from the majority, among other experiences made it so clear how different I was from my friends and siblings; they too pointed it out quite often.

They said I was weird, I said I was unique, even though at an early age I understood that having different views/perceptions didn't make us enemies, nor did it make one of us weird. It just makes us...well...different, which is not a bad thing at all. Thinking that I was too unique to the extent that I did, was rather misleading because it made me think of myself as naturally non-belonging, hardly compatible with the majority, not open to sharing my genuine opinions, very unique, very special, among other negative side-effects.

Therefore, I wish I knew that I was simply different, and not very unique, that we are all just as different.

5. Many things are not permissible for me, yet they are for others.

We all know that person who eats a lot of junk but never grows fat. You may also relate to having a sibling who always does something and no one ever mentions that they have an issue with it, yet when you happen to do the same thing just once, the whole house rises up against you. Put in mind, these actions might not necessarily be wrong.

I have learnt that my being gets a different reaction from doing some things differently than the reaction other people receive when they do the same thing. These responses might be restricting/ disciplining while others are liberating.
For example:
 - When I eat a lot of junk for some time, it begins to show in my waist line and my face, while that is not the case for some other people.
- When I wear something that hangs from slightly above the knees, I receive a fair number of restricting responses, yet another girl who is taller than I am would borrow the same cloth and no one ever chooses to notice.

- When I make a mistake, I rarely feel internally terrible for more than a couple of hours_ at most it takes me a day, while I know people who would feel intensely terrible for an entire week in the same situation.
- I was quite confused when someone told me that they get welled up with laughter when they are tickled, yet it is a rather dreadful experience for me, it terribly fills me with anger instead.

Anyways, I wish I learnt that it's okay when one is applauded for making a joke yet another would be crucified for the same exact joke, all factors remaining constant.

6. He makes everything beautiful in its time.

Surely, I wish I knew all the above and more before now. However, I am also growing to appreciate that God makes things beautiful in their time.

Ecclesiastes 3:11
 "He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end."

You may find yourself struggling to make something happen, yet at such an amazing time, in an amazing style, in such a peaceful way, with no struggle at all, He makes it happen.

It doesn't matter how fast or late I want something to happen, at the right time He makes it happen with very little or no fuss.

Proverbs 10:22
"The blessing of the LORD brings wealth, without painful toil for it."

We need to continuously remind ourselves to  live in the rest of God, to move at the pace of grace, to let God lead, because when He does, He also avails the grace, and the strength to sustain us there.

Special shoutouts to everyone who calls, sends a message, leaves a comment in response to the pieces on this blog. You really encourage me to post the next blog article.
Stay blessed!

And a happy birthday to my fellow April babies.